Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Cosplay Etiquette



Conventions such as Comi-Con and E3 are becoming very popular all over the world. Fans of  animae (Japanese Animation), Star Trek, Star, Wars, DC and Marvel Comics, etc. create costumes of their favorite characters or create their own character and come to these conventions to show off their talents  and to admire the talent and skills other fans.The popularity of this art form has grown to the point that there are Cosplayers that do it professionally for a living and there is even a reality show that profiles Cosplayers competing or making appearances at different events. They too however have a code of conduct that they want adhered, so if you  are a newbie, here are some points to keep in mind before you approach the guy dressed like Ironman or the gal dressed like Wonder Woman.

Always Ask First, Cosplay Is Not Consent

If  you see your favorite character and just have to have a photo of or with them, want to have a chat, maybe ask for a hug or just want to give them a big high five for being awesome, ASK. If they refuse for any reason, please respect that! They are not rude to politely decline your request and may have specific reasons for not wanting photos taken of them or are avoiding  physical contact with fans or fellow cosplayers. It is never okay to try and ‘sneak’ a photo if they have specifically told you no or to sneak physical contact with any private areas of a Cosplayer’s body, this is considered sexual assault (male or female) even if that was not your intention.




Respect Their Costume and Personal Space

Cosplayers enjoy their hard work being admired, but that is not permission to  touch their costume or any accompanied props/weapons without asking first. The costume and/or prop could be very fragile, and you don't want to damage what they've worked so hard on - especially if they are competeting in a  Cosplay competition!



No Surprise Hugs or 'Glomps'

 Surprising a cosplayer with a hug or 'glomp' is unacceptable,there's nothing worse than being startled by an overzealous fan. Physical contact of an unwanted nature can be interpreted as assault or  harassment, with all the legal penalties that apply. Respect the cosplayer’s personal space.



Be Kind and Considerate

Cosplayers differ in terms of age, size and skill level, so please do not criticize someone else's costume. Cosplayers participate for many reasons, but mostly for the love of the art form and Cosplayers want to share that in common with everyone. I understand there are fans and Cosplayers who are purists when it comes to how their favorite characters are represented and may get annoyed if the image of their favorite character is compromised, BUT out of respect for others, keep your opinions of another Cosplayer's work to yourself unless it is solicited.




The more I research, the more I find that the basic premise of etiquette is to be respectful to yourself and others. Whether you are a Gamer, Cosplayer, Trekkie, etc. no matter how the rules are worded, people want to be respected.

On that note, enjoy the world of Cosplay and the handiwork of the 100 different Batmans, Spocks, or Spidermans you may encounter.

Cheers!

For Crying Out Loud


If we fail to treat people with common decency and kindness, at the end of the day, they will not care how we lay our napkin in our lap or what fork we used. 
-Anonymous
 

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Maxine Powell, Motown, Etiquette, Charm and todays entertainers



 
Maxine Powell 1915-2013
“I teach class, and class will turn the heads of kings and queens.”





“Mrs. Powell was always a lady of grace, elegance and style, and we did our best to emulate her. Every asset of my personality has been by her influence. Even to the end, she was making sure that I was standing with posture and exuberant grace.” ” -Martha Reeves

"She taught us all — men and women — etiquette, class and what you are supposed to do,"  Duke Fakir, Four Tops

"She gave us more than just the tools for the movements and the gowns, these were tools for us as human beings."- Mary Wilson, The Supremes 

“She was tough, but when she got through with them, they were poised, professional and very thankful.”- Berry Gordy Jr. Founder of Motown Records


Ms. Maxine Powell will be missed. You may ask who is Maxine Powell and why should she be missed? Well I will tell  you, better yet I will show you:


All that poise and elegance that you see displayed in this clip, the Supremes as well many other famous singers and singing groups  from the world renowned Motown label  can be attributed to Mrs. Powell's behind the scenes training and instruction. Ms. Powell stated the polished, well spoken stars of Motown  that some people saw on stage came from humble  beginings. Coming from the projects (low income housing) some were rude, crude and spoke with unacceptable language, but  by the time she was done with them one would never guess.

As the director of Motown's Artist Development Department, Mrs. Powell  taught and trained the artists for two hours a day whenever they were not on the road or recording. Her training covered proper conduct onstage and off: how to speak impeccably and stand erect, to glide instead of just  walking, how to sit  properly whether in a limousine or on a barstool. “A lady with class can sit on a garbage pail and look good,” Mrs. Powell she told the Supremes during a class. Although she was only with the company for five years, her influence is still felt by those who spoke fondly of her in life and at her passing. Mrs. Powell's career continued after she left Motown as she provided the same training  and instruction at the request of major corporations and spoke and lectured at different colleges, universities and events.

I wish I could have met this phenominal woman and drawn from her years of wisdom. I wonder what kind of impact she could have had on today's artists if they sat under her teaching. I find it very unfortunate that  many of today's entertainers give very little attention to their conduct and their stage presence and the people guiding their careers  seem to care even less. I am sure Mrs. Powell had seen some of the behavior of today's entertainers and given her high standard of excellence, I am sure she was appalled. It seems as long as it makes money, it is acceptable and as a result we have gone from this:




To THIS:






Mrs. Powell, thank you for the  gift of poise and sophistication you gave many of the artists I grew up listening to, you will be sorely missed.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Use Your words!!! The Abreviation Generation and the lost art of communication




Remember when mothers said "use your words" when kids would not speak clearly? I wonder if we need to  revisit that lesson. Now TV anchors are using abbreviations in their news reports. A sportscaster reporting on an athlete who was suspended said the reason why was because of P.E.D. I know P.E.D stands for performance enhancing drugs, but others might not. Can you imagine a person learning english watching the news trying to figure out what P.E.D. stands for?  PDA in the 90's stood for Personal Digital Assistant, now it means public displays of affection. A  colleague told me she has had to mention to candidates she was interviewing that "lol" does not belong in a resume or a cover letter.  I have a friend who has a colleague, a high school teacher who is at the brink of frustration because he is tired of grading homework papers from students  filled with text language. This generation has become the abbreviation generation where the English language is becoming a hodge podge of acronyms we use when we text and when we talk! God help us all!

Abbreviation communication is becoming a real problem in my opinion. Are we in that much of a rush that we and those we communicate with do not deserve a full conversation? Once in a while a quick abbreviated message in a rush is fine, but as  the norm, I find this completely unacceptable. If you have  more than a sentence or two, pick up the phone, meet up with the person or at the worst send an email (which is just one step above texting as far as I am concerned). I googled  text abbreviations and on some websites there are as many as 4 pages worth and new ones are being created all the time, I cannot keep up! There is even a pop group whose  name is based on a popular text acronym , LMAO  which stands for Laughing My A** Off. Can we go back to the days when groups had  decent sounding names even if it was a state or a city (Kansas, Boston, Chicago),The family name (The Jacksons, The Osmonds, Jonas Brothers), or something safe and fun sounding (Culture Club, The Rolling Stones, The Jets, N'SYNC, One Direction) with real talent, but that is for another discussion. 

The concern I have with  this abbreviation disease is that it is harmful to our communication and social skills. Cris Rowan, a pediatric occupational therapist, States  that our ability to communicate and connect is being greatly affected.

"We're seeing very, very young children being given these devices to soothe them and to entertain them, and it's displacing the connection with the parent," said Rowan. "We're seeing escalating diagnoses of all sorts of mental illness in children. And when we think of what is mental illness -- it's children that aren't happy and aren't well-adjusted."

ABritish neuroscientist warned that Internet use may be rewiring our brains and leading to attention deficits. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder concerns Rowan in addition to the possibility that children are growing up becoming more detached from other people as they grow up.

"As children and parents are attaching more and more to technology, they're detaching from each other, and we know as a species we need to connect," Rowan said. "We're really pack animals. We need to be connected to other human beings. That's just a fact for any living organism; it doesn't do well when it's on its own." 

The ability to manage our own emotions and behavior is being undermined,  as well. 

"These children are not entertaining themselves, they're being entertained by a device so there's no creativity, there's no imagination, no self-initiation," Rowan said. "These things are very, very important for sustainability and your own self-gratification and happiness when you're older."

100 years ago, you had to talk to people face to face as written correspondence could take a long time by mail and was only used when absolutely necessary or they had personal servants to deliver messages, 30-50 years ago, you had to communicate face to face, by phone or in writing and people usually used full complete sentences. Today people break up with their boyfriends/girlfriends, friends, or terminate employment over text message. I recently had an office assignment where the guy who hired me had his assistant notify me by text that my services were no longer needed as they hired a permanent employee for the job, no phone call, no meeting in the office, nothing! (How is that for professional?). Is texting technology creating a group of cowards who cannot deal with human beings face to face anymore?

While abbreviating everything my seem cool, what will this say about us to the rest of the global village? We are becoming more globally connected  we need to present ourselves like we have some common sense! A businessman running a multi million dollar business here or abroad is not going to be looking at someone who cannot communicate in full sentences with clarity and articulation.  LMAO may sound funny when you are 15, but what about as an adult looking for a job or trying to communicate with potential clients for  your business? I also speak to the adults who utilize this form of communication on a regular basis, it is time to go back to basics, we know better!!! I fear for this generation and the older adults who use this as their primary means of communication; they are going to be left behind if they do not take the time to expand their vocabulary and exercise it. Put  down the androids, IPODs IPADS, IPHONES, and  other electronic devices and talk to each other!!! Sometimes the things we have to say will be uncomfortable (like a break up or a job termination), but we owe it to ourselves and those we interact with. Give to others and demand of others the benefit of a full  rich conversation abbreviation free.

Stay connected to your humanity and the humanity of others, tell the whole story, speak in complete sentences, USE YOUR WORDS!



Friday, August 23, 2013

Healthy Competition and Political correctness: What is causing the damage?

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 A recent article reports that a librarian at a New York Library wants to ban a student from participating in a book reading contest because he has won the contest 5 times in a row. The child followed all the rules but the problem according to the librarian is that the other kids get discouraged and drop out. I am deeply disturbed that we are becoming a nation that cannot handle the challenges of healthy competition. In this life we will face competition on one level or another so it would be best if we learned those lessons as early as possible.

The commenters were no better in responding to this story. I found  some of these responses absolutely disgusting! If this child followed the rules, did what he was supposed to do, then he won fair and square. Should he be responsible if  other kids decided to drop out?  He did not bully or threaten them to not read, the decision to drop out lies with them no matter what the  reason. One commenter said that the child should be "Gracious" and step aside and let another kids get a chance to win. Excuse me?? Well welcome to the politically correct generation where if your kid does not  make the cut then we need to get rid of the excelling kid that is standing in his or her way.  Even if we have to try to get them killed like the Texas Cheerleader mom.

When I was this child's age in the late 1970's if you did not win, you tried  again. Our parents did not threaten to shoot someone or sue the school. They did speak up if there were unfair practices going on, but if it was a fair and square loss, we had to suck it up. They let us cry or pout for a moment, then it was time to move on. Nowadays, competition is a bad word,  and if anyone makes our child feel bad about themselves, then we sue the school! We have to give every kid a trophy because after all "everybody is a winner" why? because the silence of somenone's defeat is a sound we cannot bear to hear. In this life we win  and we lose and these parents and some of these commenters have lost touch with that and as a result we have a generation of kids who have no endurance power through setbacks, defeats, and failure. Not winning is a bitter pill to swallow, I understand, really.  One defeat amongst others I have experienced was that I was the first runner-up in the Miss Plus America Pageant a few years ago. I wanted that crown on my head badly! No one practices and prepares to be 1st runner up in anything, you prepare and practice to WIN, but sometimes it is not in the cards and you have to move on. When those times come when you are in the victory circle, victory is sweet, savor the moment fully, but we have to be ready win or lose and be gracious about it.

If an athlete at the Olympics wins in a competition more than once, the Olympic committee does not say to them " well you have to be gracious and step down and let Bulgaria, Russia, and Japan have a shot at it." NOPE Bulgaria and the rest have to keep at it until they place, but in our entitled self serving world, our solution in dealing with defeat  when  theere is a kid ahead  of our kid in the bike race of life is to get rid of  the other kid by trying to get them disqualified, accuse him of using steroids, cheating, having a better bike, flatten their tires, etc.  to get him  or her out of the way by any means necessary. It seems today that many parents would rather dole out blame than hold their child to a higher standard of excellence. The better way to help our kids  is to help them prepare and practice harder to win in their own right and win or lose display good sportsmanship in the process.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Respectable Disagreements: Can we agree to disagree?



Many people criticize the president harshly. They criticize from every side, but most of the people who criticize don't even participate fully in the political process. And almost nobody realizes how difficult it is to negotiate with people who have a hundreds of conflicting demands that all represent AMERICA. WE are AMERICA. Only we can make the changes that we seek. No president can or ever has been able to make changes on completely his own. Its never possible to please all the people all the time. If we disagree with our president, it should be done with respect, the same respect that we hope to receive ourselves, no matter what our particular views happen to be.
-Gabriel Angelo, Age 14

Gabriel With President Obama
The statement above was expressed by a talented young musician who has met the President in person and had the opportunity to perform for him. There were those who chalked up his statement to his being young, idealistic and not of age to vote to really understand what politics are really about. You do not have to be an adult with tons of votes under your belt to recognize the importance of respecting one another, even when you do not agree. I found Gabriel's statement well expressed and expressed with a wisdom and insight well beyond his years, a mature viewpoint I do not see in many adults these days.



This post is not in favor of or against the President, leader or any political affiliation, but to address the importance to respect people in positions of leadership. Respect does not mean  agreement, it simply means  we respect the position they hold while we do not adhere to their views or convictions. Any of us who have held or holds a position of influence be it as a parent, teacher, pastor, office manager, congressman, etc. knows it is not easy to lead and make decisions that will benefit people at large. To be under the constant scrutiny of people criticizing every move you make, leveling insults and put downs are never considering the impact of their words and/or actions.



Another colleague of mine mentioned that leaders set the example by the way they treat other leaders and I could not agree more. When you are in a position of influence, people are watching you, they will many times follow your lead and any action or deed can be taken out of context and grossly mis-understood. I recall the photograph of Arizona Governor Jan Brewer that went viral of her pointed finger in the face of the President. To this day it was not made clear what the exchange was really about in that moment though there has been much speculation, but once the photo went viral,  there were some people all too happy to "high five" the governor for what they perceived to be her "putting him in his place". Some also expressed disappointment at the gesture and did not support it at all. Gov Brewer has stressed over and over that she would never disrespect the office of the President, but the body language captured in that photo seemed to give a different impression and some people the permission to support their perceived sentiment whether it was true or not whether it was right or not.

Our body language speaks louder than our words!


I am appalled at the horrible treatment I see people give those in leadership local, national, or global and those who do not agree with their views. Social media has become a cheap way for people  to do expensive damage to people's name and reputation all  in the name of free speech. I do not believe that freedom of speech was implemented to that we could attack and slander people we do dislike or disagree with. It was platform by which people were given the privilege to speak  and to disagree respectfully without fear of retaliation or punishment. Sadly many have set themselves up as judge,jury, and executioner in the court of public opinion to do it to others and the ramifications are far reaching way beyond the printed page of old. Now it is around the world in a matter of seconds thanks to the internet!

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Gabriel made a profound statement, "We are all America" in that all inclusive statement, that means we all have different views and experiences. The child raised in a single parent home is going to see life differently than the child raised in a two parent home. The man who has lived a life of advantage  and privilege will see the world differently than a man who has to work 60 hour weeks just to make rent and bills for his family. A Black , White, Asian, Hispanic, Middle Eastern, etc. all see life from a different perspective so of course what is important to us is going to vary yet we expect those in charge to view the world from our unique standpoint, it does not work that way. We have to leave room for other people to see things differently, (this does not include the clear boundaries of right and wrong  such as lying,stealing, cheating,  killing, etc.) and respect their perspective on matters of importance.


 If we disagree with our president, it should be done with respect, the same respect that we hope to receive ourselves, no matter what our particular views happen to be.

The final part of Gabriel's statement voices the very essence of what etiquette and social graces should be about and that is  the golden rule, treating others as we would want to be treated. He also drew attention to the fact that if we want to see change, we have to take responsibility and  work together respectfully to obtain it.  We all want respect  even if others do not  always agree with us, should we not afford others the same privilege without insult, ridicule or disrespect where it is rightfully merited?

Monday, May 27, 2013

I am back! Happy Memorial Day!

My apologies for the 3 month absence, I have been busy teaching classes, but I am back  and my first course of action is to express gratitude our military for their service and to those who gave their lives for me and everyone who lives on American soil.Having to fight for freedom or to keep it is never easy. I am grateful to those who serve. My mother served with the Marines from 1966-1970, my uncle served in the Army and the Navy, and my grandfather served in the Navy during WWII so it is a family affair for me and I am blessed to have the blood of these brave men and women running in my veins.

Speaking of gratitude, there is an organization called OPERATION TROOP APPRECIATION which works to send requested supplies to our troops overseas. They send the things that the troops specifically ask for in an effort to make their time of serving a little easier. People from all over the country fill the requests in gratitude for their service. Kristen Holloway, founder and President of Operation Troop Appreciation in  March 2004 volunteered to provide Under Armour® t-shirts to a local Pennsylvania National Guard platoon (1/107 FA, Alpha Company 759 MP) of 38 soldiers deployed in Iraq. From that outreach this organization was birthed and the line of support has  increased to help more and more soliders benefit from the outpouring of love and support that many have volunteered to give to those who serve.

The wonderful thing about expressing generosity to others is that it many times rewards us in ways  we do not expect. Ms. Halloway met her future husband who was amongst the soliders that were receiving the care packages from her organization and they have been happily married for a few years now. An act of gratitude led to matrimony!

This is one of many organizations that have committed themselves to say thank you in so many ways to those who have served and continue to serve our country, please consider lending your support. If you see a solider, say thank you, offer to buy him or her a meal or some gesture of appreciation. I remember being on a bus and a solider was seated near me. When my stop came, before I got off, I turned and said, "thank you", he said "no problem ma'am" with a smile. I had no care package for him but the least I could do is show a little gratitude and we all can do the same.



Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Comedy, Satire, Freedom of Speech, and degrading a minor; when is enough, enough?

  Quvenzhane' Wallis- 2013  

Academy Award Best Actress Nominee 

and The youngest nominee in history

 

Ok I am familiar with the online publication "The Onion" and it's reputation for it's biting commentary and envelope pushing satire. I admit I did not actively follow their activity, until a particular statement posted on their twitter account ast night made me take notice (and not in a good way). It seems one of their writers got the bright idea that it would be funny to call 9 year old Academy Award best actress nominee Quvenshane' Wallis the c word (a vulgar word for a woman's private parts). What followed was a flood of outrage from the public, including some celebrities causing the powers that be to quickly pull the tweet and hastily issue an apology.  In the midst of the powers that be doing damage control, some of the former writers for The Onion felt differently and one of the editors in particular had this to say:

"‪It shows they don't have faith in the writers, or in their public. ‬It looks worse that they took [the tweet] down," one former Onion editor, Joe Garden, told BuzzFeed.
"My reaction was, 'It wasn't a great joke, but big deal,'" Garden said. "I saw where they were going, and the commentary was about the media construct and the Oscar hype in general. But the tweet was shocking for the sake of shocking, but I think that [taking it down] was not the way to handle it."


I am appalled that people can be so cavalier about leveling a derogatory comment (and a sexual one at that) at a child and their emotional reaction is not one of regret or remorse, but anger at the heads of the company for taking measures to issue an apology and make amends.  Then to add insult to injury they level the accusation that  the company heads do not trust their writers enough to let such a scathing comment stand. The truth is, is that they misread their audience and were not prepared for the backlash.The concept of humor and satire is not lost on me, but there are times when the line has been crossed, and people need to be called on it and this is clearly one of those times. There is nothing funny about what was said and Miss Wallis was owed an apology even if the originator of this insult was unwilling to give it.  I applaud Mr. Hannah for issuing the following statement (in the name of damage control, I know) in response to such a disrespectful action:

Feb. 25, 2013
Dear Readers,
On behalf of The Onion, I offer my personal apology to Quvenzhané Wallis and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for the tweet that was circulated last night during the Oscars. It was crude and offensive—not to mention inconsistent with The Onion’s commitment to parody and satire, however biting. No person should be subjected to such a senseless, humorless comment masquerading as satire. The tweet was taken down within an hour of publication. We have instituted new and tighter Twitter procedures to ensure that this kind of mistake does not occur again. In addition, we are taking immediate steps to discipline those individuals responsible. Miss Wallis, you are young and talented and deserve better. All of us at The Onion are deeply sorry.
Sincerely,
Steve Hannah
CEO
The Onion


 Quvenzhane' and Ben Affleck



I grew up listening to different comedians and their material ranged from safe to edgy. I have heard them use heads of state, famous people, infamous people, for their comedic material,but never once did I ever hear any of them use such a remark against any of the people they cracked jokes on and NEVER directed any of it at a child. As Mr. Hannah stated, she is a talented young girl, she does deserve better and she deserves to be respected! Its crass, irresponsible behavior like this that makes me wish the Hayes Office was still around because they held people to a certain standard. By today's standard the Hayes Office would probably seem too strict for the taste of many. That may be true but they held people accountable for their behavior for morality sake, something that is sorely lacking today unless a lawsuit is involved. One comedy writer  from that era said that he actually learned to appreciate the Hayes Office because it made him a better writer. It does not take a brilliant mind to be vile and disgusting, anybody can do that, but to be genuinely funny without being degrading to anyone is truly a gift and it can be done, the lasting power of  shows like"I love Lucy" and comedians like Bill Cosby is proof of that.


The fact of the matter is, that these people do not know her, so how can they be so disrespectful is beyond me. The freedom of speech that the founding fathers of this country spoke of  was not so that adult men and women could use that freedom to insult and belittle a child (or anyone) in hopes to get a laugh in the name of being edgy. It was given so that people could speak the truth with out fear and I can safely say that calling Quvenzhane' the c word is not the truth. 

I also applaud the celebrities and the public at large for speaking up and letting these writers know that their "humor" was not acceptable and your voice made them remove that tweet within an hour of being posted. The writers assumed because in times past that their audience laughed with them,  that anything goes and they can say and do anything without consequence, you suggested otherwise. You represented what "freedom of  speech" is truly about  and that is to not only stand for truth, but to speak up for those who are being attacked by those who use their "freedom" to speak to harm or inflict injury on others. If we continue to speak out, then maybe these writers will finally get the message that while freedom of speech is respected, the abuse of that freedom will not be tolerated.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Pollyanna Revisited - Playing the Glad Game







This year  is the 100 year anniversary of the book Pollyanna. To call someone a Pollyanna in this day and time is to label them a naive optimist. If you read the story,  Pollyanna was nothing of the like. An orphan living with a cold and distant aunt, Pollyanna was an intuitive child who learned the art of gratitude  through the "Glad Game", a game her father taught her before he died. She suffered alot of loss in her young life so she was not immune to pain, but through finding reasons to be glad she was able to keep gloom at bay and teach by example the townspeople that their lives were filled with more blessings than they realized. She  fell short and succumbed to human weakness in her ability to always be glad, but  more times than not she prevailed. It was a deliberate choice to be glad and not trust her feelings.

I suggest we all recapture our childlike hearts and play the glad game every day. It is simply declaring the things big or small that make you grateful. It could be a promotion at work, a cup of tea, a warm sunny day, just be glad! We all have something to be glad for. I suggest we also openly express gratitude to others for what they have contributed to our lives.  Did you know that according to Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, one of reasons Rabbis, Ministers, Pastors, etc. experience burnout because of the lack of gratitude from those they serve. The  daily practice of gratitude is not just for us, but for others.

                                                           What are you glad for?

Monday, February 11, 2013

Modesty at the Grammy Awards

Rhianna at the 2013 Grammys

 Modesty at the Grammy Awards

 Memo from the CBS office:

Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible "puffy" bare skin exposure. Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts. Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared. OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera. 

When I read this, I was relieved that finally some standards are being required of these entertainers when they attend the Grammys (I hope it will be a standard for all the award shows going forward)   I have seen on the red carpet more than I would I like of half naked women in the name of so called cutting edge sexiness. What I find disturbing about this scenario is that CBS had to send out a memo in the first place to a group of adults who should know better. Certainly no one is asking  these celebrities to dress like nuns, but why is being one step from naked a necessity?

Jennifer Lopez at the 2000 Grammys
Dressing tastefully is to me a sign of self respect is not only to yourself, but a sign that you respect those around you. You may be comfortable with your body, but not everyone is comfortable with seeing so much of it.

Jennifer Lopez at the 2013 Grammys 

I think that to be dressed with a touch of modesty is not a sentence to be dowdy but it speaks of elegance and class when you are properly covered. It is not necessary to announce you have legs and breasts by the lack of fabric or sheer see through fabrics believe me, people  already know you do.

Adele in a cute floral number at the 2013 Grammys








Adele in Armani at the 2012 Grammys LOVE IT!

I wonder what has happened over the years to where  some celebrities have lost their sense of restraint to where  they live by the standard that whatever you can get away with you say it, wear it, or you do it. I miss the days where celebrities on the red carpet be it acting or music carried themselves with a sense of style and polish. Why? because they understood anything less was unacceptable and they did not need a memo from the head of any studio or tv network to tell them so.


Dorothy Dandridge at Carmen Jones Premiere
Clark Gable and Grace Kelly

Dressing appropriately for the occasion, is not just for the celebrities but for their audience as well.  With millions of people all over the world watching them, would it not be in their best interest to put their best foot forward? Especially with young impressionable children also watching how they carry themselves in the eyes of the public. In reviewing  some of the red carpet footage, some of the celebrities clearly disregarded the memo in the name of self expression.


Katy Perry in a peek a boo dress
 My question is still why is it necessary? Many of these celebrities are talented, award winning not to mention beautiful/handsome singers and songwriters who do not need to objectify themselves or is this what the public demands of them and they feel the need to comply in the name of staying "current"? Either way, I applaud CBS for taking this step to try to  make watching an award show a pleasant experience. I know part of the reason is to avoid lawsuits ( remember Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction?), but it still speaks how important  a little modesty is for the sake of all.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Gaming Ettiquette






I admit the pinnacle  of my video game skills peaked at Pac Man (Google it youngsters). I have been informed however that video games have evolved to rival major motion pictures including a rating system. Gamers can also play with other gamers online around the world. With this global village to available to test your skill level, there are bound to be some toes stepped on and so again rules must be implemented to keep the playing field civil, no matter how much your game mate in Sri Lanka is annoying you  by rubbing their latest victory in your face.



1. Play Fair
Don't cheat, if you want to win, sharpen your skill level until you do.


2. Be A Good Sport
Win or lose be a gracious victor or opponent.


3.  Save the Caps for the dentist
  It's the text equivalent of yelling at everyone, keep it lower case.

4. You Were a Noob (newbie) Too
Learning  a new game and getting familiar  with all the details can be unsettling no matter what your skill level. Joe Cocker said he can get by with a little help from his friends, lend a hand and help the new player get up to speed instead of giving them the scarlet letter of "noob" and giving them the brush off. After all isn't a game more fun when all the players present a challenge? Makes for good game playing if you ask me.


 5. There is no "I" in Team
Yes it is an over used cliche' but still holds true. If you are playing as part of a team, keep it that way, every persons participation is important.

6. Don't Be a Quitter
Unless the enviroment is toxic, don't run at the first sign of defeat, keep playing and if you find that you keep losing the battle, enlist the help of a fellow gamer to address your vulnerabilities. Sometimes we are completely unaware of our blind spots.

7. Insults

No matter how well you conduct yourself, there is always someone who likes to hit below the belt. When someone insults you, the best thing to do  is to ignore them. If the insults continue, most chat and voice systems have 'ignore' functions that enable you to block them. Returning the insults  only escalates the situation and has the potential to poison your connection with other gamers in your cyber circle. If you ignore them and they continue the abuse, others will quickly recognize where the source of trouble is.
 
8. Enjoy the Game

It is simple as that, enjoy yourself. That is what  you are there for, to have a good time. Don't let your fun be drained away by becoming obsessed with the game.


With these suggestions in mind, I wish you happy gaming!

Profiles In Manners and Public Displays of Social Graces

Scotty Maloney (Center)



I usually profile icons in history, but this story is too precious to pass up. Jesse Cooper, Drew Gibbs and Zeke Grissom were all nominated for Homecoming King at their high school in Tennessee. They decided that no matter who won, they would bestow the honor to their fellow classmate Scotty Maloney, who has Williams Syndrome, a neurological disorder that affects learning and speech.



"I've been blessed with so many things," Cooper told ABC News' Nashville affiliate WKRN-TV. "I just wanted Scotty to experience something great in his high school days."

"He's always happy, so he deserves some recognition for who he is," Gibbs said.

Scotty (Center) with Jesse Cooper, Drew Gibbs and Zeke Grissom and another classmate.



When Scotty's name was announced at the ceremony, he received a standing ovation as the medal was placed around his neck. This story was a beautiful example of how to treat others. These young men saw this as an opportunity to give to  publicly honor a fellow classmate  and treat him like "one of the guys" .

Scotty's teacher Liz Hestle Gassaway felt this selfless act by these three young men set a wonderful  example that others would be wise to follow. "We want people to have more empathy towards people, not be scared of people with disabilities," she said. "We want them to embrace them, more like the boys did."


Scotty proudly shows off his medal as Homecoming King



Actions like these make me proud to know that not everyone in this generation has succumbed to the abyss of reality television and the sometimes mindless social media. Kudos to these outstanding young men!