Modesty at the Grammy Awards

Rhianna at the 2013 Grammys

 Modesty at the Grammy Awards

 Memo from the CBS office:

Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible "puffy" bare skin exposure. Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts. Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared. OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera. 

When I read this, I was relieved that finally some standards are being required of these entertainers when they attend the Grammys (I hope it will be a standard for all the award shows going forward)   I have seen on the red carpet more than I would I like of half naked women in the name of so called cutting edge sexiness. What I find disturbing about this scenario is that CBS had to send out a memo in the first place to a group of adults who should know better. Certainly no one is asking  these celebrities to dress like nuns, but why is being one step from naked a necessity?

Jennifer Lopez at the 2000 Grammys

Dressing tastefully is to me a sign of self respect is not only to yourself, but a sign that you respect those around you. You may be comfortable with your body, but not everyone is comfortable with seeing so much of it.

Jennifer Lopez at the 2013 Grammys 

I think that to be dressed with a touch of modesty is not a sentence to be dowdy but it speaks of elegance and class when you are properly covered. It is not necessary to announce you have legs and breasts by the lack of fabric or sheer see through fabrics believe me, people  already know you do.

Adele in a cute floral number at the 2013 Grammys

Adele in Armani at the 2012 Grammys LOVE IT!

I wonder what has happened over the years to where  some celebrities have lost their sense of restraint to where  they live by the standard that whatever you can get away with you say it, wear it, or you do it. I miss the days where celebrities on the red carpet be it acting or music carried themselves with a sense of style and polish. Why? because they understood anything less was unacceptable and they did not need a memo from the head of any studio or tv network to tell them so.

Dorothy Dandridge at Carmen Jones Premiere

Clark Gable and Grace Kelly

Dressing appropriately for the occasion, is not just for the celebrities but for their audience as well.  With millions of people all over the world watching them, would it not be in their best interest to put their best foot forward? Especially with young impressionable children also watching how they carry themselves in the eyes of the public. In reviewing  some of the red carpet footage, some of the celebrities clearly disregarded the memo in the name of self expression.

Katy Perry in a peek a boo dress

 My question is still why is it necessary? Many of these celebrities are talented, award winning not to mention beautiful/handsome singers and songwriters who do not need to objectify themselves or is this what the public demands of them and they feel the need to comply in the name of staying "current"? Either way, I applaud CBS for taking this step to try to  make watching an award show a pleasant experience. I know part of the reason is to avoid lawsuits ( remember Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction?), but it still speaks how important  a little modesty is for the sake of all.

Gaming Ettiquette

I admit the pinnacle  of my video game skills peaked at Pac Man (Google it youngsters). I have been informed however that video games have evolved to rival major motion pictures including a rating system. Gamers can also play with other gamers online around the world. With this global village to available to test your skill level, there are bound to be some toes stepped on and so again rules must be implemented to keep the playing field civil, no matter how much your game mate in Sri Lanka is annoying you  by rubbing their latest victory in your face.



1. Play Fair
Don't cheat, if you want to win, sharpen your skill level until you do.


2. Be A Good Sport
Win or lose be a gracious victor or opponent.


3.  Save the Caps for the dentist
  It's the text equivalent of yelling at everyone, keep it lower case.

4. You Were a Noob (newbie) Too
Learning  a new game and getting familiar  with all the details can be unsettling no matter what your skill level. Joe Cocker said he can get by with a little help from his friends, lend a hand and help the new player get up to speed instead of giving them the scarlet letter of "noob" and giving them the brush off. After all isn't a game more fun when all the players present a challenge? Makes for good game playing if you ask me.


 5. There is no "I" in Team
Yes it is an over used cliche' but still holds true. If you are playing as part of a team, keep it that way, every persons participation is important.

6. Don't Be a Quitter
Unless the enviroment is toxic, don't run at the first sign of defeat, keep playing and if you find that you keep losing the battle, enlist the help of a fellow gamer to address your vulnerabilities. Sometimes we are completely unaware of our blind spots.

7. Insults

No matter how well you conduct yourself, there is always someone who likes to hit below the belt. When someone insults you, the best thing to do  is to ignore them. If the insults continue, most chat and voice systems have 'ignore' functions that enable you to block them. Returning the insults  only escalates the situation and has the potential to poison your connection with other gamers in your cyber circle. If you ignore them and they continue the abuse, others will quickly recognize where the source of trouble is.
 
8. Enjoy the Game

It is simple as that, enjoy yourself. That is what  you are there for, to have a good time. Don't let your fun be drained away by becoming obsessed with the game.


With these suggestions in mind, I wish you happy gaming!

Profiles In Manners and Public Displays of Social Graces

Scotty Maloney (Center)

I usually profile icons in history, but this story is too precious to pass up. Jesse Cooper, Drew Gibbs and Zeke Grissom were all nominated for Homecoming King at their high school in Tennessee. They decided that no matter who won, they would bestow the honor to their fellow classmate Scotty Maloney, who has Williams Syndrome, a neurological disorder that affects learning and speech.



"I've been blessed with so many things," Cooper told ABC News' Nashville affiliate WKRN-TV. "I just wanted Scotty to experience something great in his high school days."

"He's always happy, so he deserves some recognition for who he is," Gibbs said.

Scotty (Center) with Jesse Cooper, Drew Gibbs and Zeke Grissom and another classmate.

When Scotty's name was announced at the ceremony, he received a standing ovation as the medal was placed around his neck. This story was a beautiful example of how to treat others. These young men saw this as an opportunity to give to  publicly honor a fellow classmate  and treat him like "one of the guys" .

Scotty's teacher Liz Hestle Gassaway felt this selfless act by these three young men set a wonderful  example that others would be wise to follow. "We want people to have more empathy towards people, not be scared of people with disabilities," she said. "We want them to embrace them, more like the boys did."

Scotty proudly shows off his medal as Homecoming King

Actions like these make me proud to know that not everyone in this generation has succumbed to the abyss of reality television and the sometimes mindless social media. Kudos to these outstanding young men!

The Notation Knife: Gratitude with your food

Gratitude is one social grace that never goes out of style and everyone has a tradition of how they express gratitude for the pleasure of dining. Those of the traditional christian faith give thanks before their meal, those in the Jewish community give thanks before and after, and others have their own expression of gratitude for the pleasures they enjoy. In my research of unique dining utensils, I came across the "Notation Knife"; a beautifully crafted  knife was created around the16th century. It is believed that this utensil was used to both carve and present the food, probably meat, to nobility.  The knife, whose origin has not been confirmed (though some suspect it was made in Italy) is made of steel with a handle made of brass, ivory and silver.


The knife was beautifully inscribed with notations expressing gratitude for the enjoyment of a good meal. The inscription on one side of the blade reads "The blessing of the table. May the three-in-one bless that which we are about to eat."  This would be sung before the meal was taken. On the other side the inscription gives thanks after the meal, "The saying of grace. We give thanks to you God for your generosity."

Being an avid music lover I was curious to know what these songs of gratitude would sound like in that time. Luckily Flora Denis, an Art Historian for the University of Sussex did the research to bring these beautiful melodies back to life. (See the last 2 minutes of the clip). It is a delightful melody with beautiful harmonies. I would have found it quite enjoyable to listen to  if I had lived in that time at the beginning and end of my meal.

 This lovely knife is very rare and highly valuable so should you come across one at your local thrift store quietly pay your couple of dollars for it and sing your way to your nearest "Antiques Roadshow" for a huge recompense.

I'm back!!

SO SORRY FOR THE LONG SPACE BETWEEN BLOGS, MY COMPUTER CRASHED AND BURNED. I AM BACK (WITH A NEW LAPTOP AND PLENTY TO SAY!) AND WILL HAVE A NEW POST FOR YOU SOON. 

SMOOCHES!

Back To School Etiquette

I need a nap right now!

With the children going back to school, I share this poem chuck full of manners reminders for children of every age.

 

 

All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten

by Robert Fulghum

Most of what I really need
To know about how to live
And what to do and how to be
I learned in kindergarten.
Wisdom was not at the top
Of the graduate school mountain,
But there in the sandpile at Sunday school.

These are the things I learned:

Share everything.
Play fair.
Don't hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life -
Learn some and think some
And draw and paint and sing and dance
And play and work everyday some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out into the world,
Watch out for traffic,
Hold hands and stick together.
Be aware of wonder.

12 Tips for a more polished appearance at social gatherings

I have learned by experience that because people are always watching you and making internal judgments, it is wise to be aware of your outward presentation. The little things can send a big message.


1.   Yawning-  If you are tired or in the company of boring or dull conversation try to stifle the yawn, always cover your mouth and apologize graciously for the yawn.


2.  Be aware of other people's personal space- some people prefer a little distance when engaging in conversation


3.   Staring and pointing- It is never in good taste to stare at people or to point at them. A quick  glance in their direction is fine. Pointing can make a person feel self-conscious.


4.   Gum Chewing- Mints to freshen up your breath is a better alternative.


5.   Nail biting, cracking knuckles, foot taping- these are nervous behaviors, just relax and enjoy the atmosphere.


6.    Angry outbursts- Avoid them. If the situation is too intense to address in a calm tone, take a deep breath or two and politley excuse yourself from the room until you can regain your composure.


7.   Public grooming- freshening your make up, fixing your hair, etc. in public is not appropriate. Make those adjustments in the restroom. A quick glance at yourself in your compact is fine.


8.   Loud talking- Unless you are hard of hearing, speak softly with those around you.


9.   Putting on airs-Being pretentious or snobby is unacceptable.


10.   A negative attitude or Complaining- Like a wet blanket, this behavior is very annoying and unwelcome so don’t go there. If you find yourself on the receiving end of this type of conversation try to graciously steer the conversation in a positive direction or politely excuse yourself.


11. Be complimentary of the food and beverages-  Let the Host/Hostess know you are enjoying the refreshments.


12.  Send a thank you note- Alot of time and money went into the event so let those who invited you know you appreciate being invited.




The hosts of parties and gatherings always remember polished gracious behavior and find great pleasure in inviting those guests to future events.