Pollyanna Revisited - Playing the Glad Game

This year  is the 100 year anniversary of the book Pollyanna. To call someone a Pollyanna in this day and time is to label them a naive optimist. If you read the story,  Pollyanna was nothing of the like. An orphan living with a cold and distant aunt, Pollyanna was an intuitive child who learned the art of gratitude  through the "Glad Game", a game her father taught her before he died. She suffered alot of loss in her young life so she was not immune to pain, but through finding reasons to be glad she was able to keep gloom at bay and teach by example the townspeople that their lives were filled with more blessings than they realized. She  fell short and succumbed to human weakness in her ability to always be glad, but  more times than not she prevailed. It was a deliberate choice to be glad and not trust her feelings.

I suggest we all recapture our childlike hearts and play the glad game every day. It is simply declaring the things big or small that make you grateful. It could be a promotion at work, a cup of tea, a warm sunny day, just be glad! We all have something to be glad for. I suggest we also openly express gratitude to others for what they have contributed to our lives.  Did you know that according to Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, one of reasons Rabbis, Ministers, Pastors, etc. experience burnout because of the lack of gratitude from those they serve. The  daily practice of gratitude is not just for us, but for others.

                                                           What are you glad for?

Modesty at the Grammy Awards

Rhianna at the 2013 Grammys

 Modesty at the Grammy Awards

 Memo from the CBS office:

Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible "puffy" bare skin exposure. Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts. Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared. OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera. 

When I read this, I was relieved that finally some standards are being required of these entertainers when they attend the Grammys (I hope it will be a standard for all the award shows going forward)   I have seen on the red carpet more than I would I like of half naked women in the name of so called cutting edge sexiness. What I find disturbing about this scenario is that CBS had to send out a memo in the first place to a group of adults who should know better. Certainly no one is asking  these celebrities to dress like nuns, but why is being one step from naked a necessity?

Jennifer Lopez at the 2000 Grammys

Dressing tastefully is to me a sign of self respect is not only to yourself, but a sign that you respect those around you. You may be comfortable with your body, but not everyone is comfortable with seeing so much of it.

Jennifer Lopez at the 2013 Grammys 

I think that to be dressed with a touch of modesty is not a sentence to be dowdy but it speaks of elegance and class when you are properly covered. It is not necessary to announce you have legs and breasts by the lack of fabric or sheer see through fabrics believe me, people  already know you do.

Adele in a cute floral number at the 2013 Grammys

Adele in Armani at the 2012 Grammys LOVE IT!

I wonder what has happened over the years to where  some celebrities have lost their sense of restraint to where  they live by the standard that whatever you can get away with you say it, wear it, or you do it. I miss the days where celebrities on the red carpet be it acting or music carried themselves with a sense of style and polish. Why? because they understood anything less was unacceptable and they did not need a memo from the head of any studio or tv network to tell them so.

Dorothy Dandridge at Carmen Jones Premiere

Clark Gable and Grace Kelly

Dressing appropriately for the occasion, is not just for the celebrities but for their audience as well.  With millions of people all over the world watching them, would it not be in their best interest to put their best foot forward? Especially with young impressionable children also watching how they carry themselves in the eyes of the public. In reviewing  some of the red carpet footage, some of the celebrities clearly disregarded the memo in the name of self expression.

Katy Perry in a peek a boo dress

 My question is still why is it necessary? Many of these celebrities are talented, award winning not to mention beautiful/handsome singers and songwriters who do not need to objectify themselves or is this what the public demands of them and they feel the need to comply in the name of staying "current"? Either way, I applaud CBS for taking this step to try to  make watching an award show a pleasant experience. I know part of the reason is to avoid lawsuits ( remember Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction?), but it still speaks how important  a little modesty is for the sake of all.

The Notation Knife: Gratitude with your food

Gratitude is one social grace that never goes out of style and everyone has a tradition of how they express gratitude for the pleasure of dining. Those of the traditional christian faith give thanks before their meal, those in the Jewish community give thanks before and after, and others have their own expression of gratitude for the pleasures they enjoy. In my research of unique dining utensils, I came across the "Notation Knife"; a beautifully crafted  knife was created around the16th century. It is believed that this utensil was used to both carve and present the food, probably meat, to nobility.  The knife, whose origin has not been confirmed (though some suspect it was made in Italy) is made of steel with a handle made of brass, ivory and silver.


The knife was beautifully inscribed with notations expressing gratitude for the enjoyment of a good meal. The inscription on one side of the blade reads "The blessing of the table. May the three-in-one bless that which we are about to eat."  This would be sung before the meal was taken. On the other side the inscription gives thanks after the meal, "The saying of grace. We give thanks to you God for your generosity."

Being an avid music lover I was curious to know what these songs of gratitude would sound like in that time. Luckily Flora Denis, an Art Historian for the University of Sussex did the research to bring these beautiful melodies back to life. (See the last 2 minutes of the clip). It is a delightful melody with beautiful harmonies. I would have found it quite enjoyable to listen to  if I had lived in that time at the beginning and end of my meal.

 This lovely knife is very rare and highly valuable so should you come across one at your local thrift store quietly pay your couple of dollars for it and sing your way to your nearest "Antiques Roadshow" for a huge recompense.

Please, say THANK YOU (Part 1)

The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God....... I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens............

-From Abraham Lincoln's  thanksgiving proclamation  October 3, 1863

As I read through Abraham Lincoln's Thanksgiving Proclamation in it's entirety I could feel  his sense of  urgency in the midst of war of re-directing the nations focus back on the importance of being grateful, so much in fact that he created a national holiday  to serve as a constant reminder to American citizens. Regardless of race or gender, he understood that gratitude would serve as an important ingredient in healing the wounds of the nation and reconciling the losses that the nation had suffered .  Of the many books I have read on manners and social graces, the authors seemed to express that  gratitude  was of the utmost importance in dealing with each other.

Today I fear that many of  us have lost sight of the passion to be humbly grateful wherewith Mr. Lincoln signed the holiday into law. The lack of kindness and gratitude that people are supposed to treat each other with is astounding and it makes me wonder has it just become a day to eat more than we should , watch football and the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade? Don't misunderstand it is a wonderful gift indeed to enjoy these things, but has being grateful just become an shallow external expression that we express only at this time of year so  that we do not become completely self absorbed?

If as our former president so eloquently expressed it we are truly grateful for the abundance that God has given us despite the challenges many of us are facing in this season then Please, SAY THANK YOU, not just today but every day!

In the mean time, it is my hope that you will enjoy the day with your family and look for my next post in which I will share that  how not being grateful can be hazardous to your health.

For Crying Out Loud

Manners are not the character, but they are the dress of the character.

-From the book "Social Etiquette"  (1896)

Where did this come from? (The truth behind the tradition)



Queen Victoria’s dress was of rich white satin, trimmed with orange flower blossoms.

Why do brides wear white? While Queen Victoria was not the first bride to wear white for her wedding she definitely made it popular. In the years to follow not only did brides copy her, it is the accepted color to represent wedding dresses today. Up until Queen Victoria's wedding a woman usually wore her best dress to get married in. Though white has been traditionally recognized as a symbol of purity, it was not, it was a symbol of WEALTH because only a wealthy woman could "waste" a dress by wearing it once because white was extremely difficult to clean back then (and still is today). The color that  actually represented purity was blue.

On a side note, you want to know what motivated Victoria to wear white on her wedding day? She wanted to incorporate some lace she loved into her dress and one way to do that was to wear white. She was not making a stance for purity or wealth, she just wanted to wear some pretty lace on her wedding day!



For Crying Out Loud

Manners transcend social status, race and gender. Courtesy and consideration help to make the unbearable parts of life a little more bearable...a person who is considerate of others is welcome almost anywhere.

Karen Grigsby Bates and  Karen E. Hudson