Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Social Graces in History- Why men tip their hats



Seeing this can be very intimidating, I would want him to lift his mask to let me know his intent was friendly how about you?


When knights in medieval times wanted to express friendly intent, they would raise their face masks and reveal their faces. The practice of saluting is also derived from this practice the knights created.   Lifting one's armor mask eventually evolved into the custom of "tipping" one's hat to greet or acknowledge another, women  in particular. When knights would enter a building, removing their helmet signified a peaceful position, since a knight could not fight or defend himself without the helmet.  Since the removal of his helmet made him vulnerable, it informed others that combat or any type of violence was not his motive. This practice also evolved into the removal of one's hat when entering a building, when hearing the national anthem and in different situations where they would not be going back out in public immediately. Men would hold their hats in their hand when speaking with a lady but would put it back on when they began to walk together if out in public. It is amazing to see how these common courtesies have their roots in codes of conduct and communication from ancient practices to ensure a peaceful position was maintained in certain situations.

Imagine being a lady passing by and being treated to this!

It's 2014!!

MAY YOUR NEW YEAR BE ONE  OF HOPE AND HAPPINESS!

-DEMITA

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Cosplay Etiquette



Conventions such as Comi-Con and E3 are becoming very popular all over the world. Fans of  animae (Japanese Animation), Star Trek, Star, Wars, DC and Marvel Comics, etc. create costumes of their favorite characters or create their own character and come to these conventions to show off their talents  and to admire the talent and skills other fans.The popularity of this art form has grown to the point that there are Cosplayers that do it professionally for a living and there is even a reality show that profiles Cosplayers competing or making appearances at different events. They too however have a code of conduct that they want adhered, so if you  are a newbie, here are some points to keep in mind before you approach the guy dressed like Ironman or the gal dressed like Wonder Woman.

Always Ask First, Cosplay Is Not Consent

If  you see your favorite character and just have to have a photo of or with them, want to have a chat, maybe ask for a hug or just want to give them a big high five for being awesome, ASK. If they refuse for any reason, please respect that! They are not rude to politely decline your request and may have specific reasons for not wanting photos taken of them or are avoiding  physical contact with fans or fellow cosplayers. It is never okay to try and ‘sneak’ a photo if they have specifically told you no or to sneak physical contact with any private areas of a Cosplayer’s body, this is considered sexual assault (male or female) even if that was not your intention.




Respect Their Costume and Personal Space

Cosplayers enjoy their hard work being admired, but that is not permission to  touch their costume or any accompanied props/weapons without asking first. The costume and/or prop could be very fragile, and you don't want to damage what they've worked so hard on - especially if they are competeting in a  Cosplay competition!



No Surprise Hugs or 'Glomps'

 Surprising a cosplayer with a hug or 'glomp' is unacceptable,there's nothing worse than being startled by an overzealous fan. Physical contact of an unwanted nature can be interpreted as assault or  harassment, with all the legal penalties that apply. Respect the cosplayer’s personal space.



Be Kind and Considerate

Cosplayers differ in terms of age, size and skill level, so please do not criticize someone else's costume. Cosplayers participate for many reasons, but mostly for the love of the art form and Cosplayers want to share that in common with everyone. I understand there are fans and Cosplayers who are purists when it comes to how their favorite characters are represented and may get annoyed if the image of their favorite character is compromised, BUT out of respect for others, keep your opinions of another Cosplayer's work to yourself unless it is solicited.




The more I research, the more I find that the basic premise of etiquette is to be respectful to yourself and others. Whether you are a Gamer, Cosplayer, Trekkie, etc. no matter how the rules are worded, people want to be respected.

On that note, enjoy the world of Cosplay and the handiwork of the 100 different Batmans, Spocks, or Spidermans you may encounter.

Cheers!

For Crying Out Loud


If we fail to treat people with common decency and kindness, at the end of the day, they will not care how we lay our napkin in our lap or what fork we used. 
-Anonymous
 

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Maxine Powell, Motown, Etiquette, Charm and todays entertainers



 
Maxine Powell 1915-2013
“I teach class, and class will turn the heads of kings and queens.”





“Mrs. Powell was always a lady of grace, elegance and style, and we did our best to emulate her. Every asset of my personality has been by her influence. Even to the end, she was making sure that I was standing with posture and exuberant grace.” ” -Martha Reeves

"She taught us all — men and women — etiquette, class and what you are supposed to do,"  Duke Fakir, Four Tops

"She gave us more than just the tools for the movements and the gowns, these were tools for us as human beings."- Mary Wilson, The Supremes 

“She was tough, but when she got through with them, they were poised, professional and very thankful.”- Berry Gordy Jr. Founder of Motown Records


Ms. Maxine Powell will be missed. You may ask who is Maxine Powell and why should she be missed? Well I will tell  you, better yet I will show you:


All that poise and elegance that you see displayed in this clip, the Supremes as well many other famous singers and singing groups  from the world renowned Motown label  can be attributed to Mrs. Powell's behind the scenes training and instruction. Ms. Powell stated the polished, well spoken stars of Motown  that some people saw on stage came from humble  beginings. Coming from the projects (low income housing) some were rude, crude and spoke with unacceptable language, but  by the time she was done with them one would never guess.

As the director of Motown's Artist Development Department, Mrs. Powell  taught and trained the artists for two hours a day whenever they were not on the road or recording. Her training covered proper conduct onstage and off: how to speak impeccably and stand erect, to glide instead of just  walking, how to sit  properly whether in a limousine or on a barstool. “A lady with class can sit on a garbage pail and look good,” Mrs. Powell she told the Supremes during a class. Although she was only with the company for five years, her influence is still felt by those who spoke fondly of her in life and at her passing. Mrs. Powell's career continued after she left Motown as she provided the same training  and instruction at the request of major corporations and spoke and lectured at different colleges, universities and events.

I wish I could have met this phenominal woman and drawn from her years of wisdom. I wonder what kind of impact she could have had on today's artists if they sat under her teaching. I find it very unfortunate that  many of today's entertainers give very little attention to their conduct and their stage presence and the people guiding their careers  seem to care even less. I am sure Mrs. Powell had seen some of the behavior of today's entertainers and given her high standard of excellence, I am sure she was appalled. It seems as long as it makes money, it is acceptable and as a result we have gone from this:




To THIS:






Mrs. Powell, thank you for the  gift of poise and sophistication you gave many of the artists I grew up listening to, you will be sorely missed.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Use Your words!!! The Abreviation Generation and the lost art of communication




Remember when mothers said "use your words" when kids would not speak clearly? I wonder if we need to  revisit that lesson. Now TV anchors are using abbreviations in their news reports. A sportscaster reporting on an athlete who was suspended said the reason why was because of P.E.D. I know P.E.D stands for performance enhancing drugs, but others might not. Can you imagine a person learning english watching the news trying to figure out what P.E.D. stands for?  PDA in the 90's stood for Personal Digital Assistant, now it means public displays of affection. A  colleague told me she has had to mention to candidates she was interviewing that "lol" does not belong in a resume or a cover letter.  I have a friend who has a colleague, a high school teacher who is at the brink of frustration because he is tired of grading homework papers from students  filled with text language. This generation has become the abbreviation generation where the English language is becoming a hodge podge of acronyms we use when we text and when we talk! God help us all!

Abbreviation communication is becoming a real problem in my opinion. Are we in that much of a rush that we and those we communicate with do not deserve a full conversation? Once in a while a quick abbreviated message in a rush is fine, but as  the norm, I find this completely unacceptable. If you have  more than a sentence or two, pick up the phone, meet up with the person or at the worst send an email (which is just one step above texting as far as I am concerned). I googled  text abbreviations and on some websites there are as many as 4 pages worth and new ones are being created all the time, I cannot keep up! There is even a pop group whose  name is based on a popular text acronym , LMAO  which stands for Laughing My A** Off. Can we go back to the days when groups had  decent sounding names even if it was a state or a city (Kansas, Boston, Chicago),The family name (The Jacksons, The Osmonds, Jonas Brothers), or something safe and fun sounding (Culture Club, The Rolling Stones, The Jets, N'SYNC, One Direction) with real talent, but that is for another discussion. 

The concern I have with  this abbreviation disease is that it is harmful to our communication and social skills. Cris Rowan, a pediatric occupational therapist, States  that our ability to communicate and connect is being greatly affected.

"We're seeing very, very young children being given these devices to soothe them and to entertain them, and it's displacing the connection with the parent," said Rowan. "We're seeing escalating diagnoses of all sorts of mental illness in children. And when we think of what is mental illness -- it's children that aren't happy and aren't well-adjusted."

ABritish neuroscientist warned that Internet use may be rewiring our brains and leading to attention deficits. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder concerns Rowan in addition to the possibility that children are growing up becoming more detached from other people as they grow up.

"As children and parents are attaching more and more to technology, they're detaching from each other, and we know as a species we need to connect," Rowan said. "We're really pack animals. We need to be connected to other human beings. That's just a fact for any living organism; it doesn't do well when it's on its own." 

The ability to manage our own emotions and behavior is being undermined,  as well. 

"These children are not entertaining themselves, they're being entertained by a device so there's no creativity, there's no imagination, no self-initiation," Rowan said. "These things are very, very important for sustainability and your own self-gratification and happiness when you're older."

100 years ago, you had to talk to people face to face as written correspondence could take a long time by mail and was only used when absolutely necessary or they had personal servants to deliver messages, 30-50 years ago, you had to communicate face to face, by phone or in writing and people usually used full complete sentences. Today people break up with their boyfriends/girlfriends, friends, or terminate employment over text message. I recently had an office assignment where the guy who hired me had his assistant notify me by text that my services were no longer needed as they hired a permanent employee for the job, no phone call, no meeting in the office, nothing! (How is that for professional?). Is texting technology creating a group of cowards who cannot deal with human beings face to face anymore?

While abbreviating everything my seem cool, what will this say about us to the rest of the global village? We are becoming more globally connected  we need to present ourselves like we have some common sense! A businessman running a multi million dollar business here or abroad is not going to be looking at someone who cannot communicate in full sentences with clarity and articulation.  LMAO may sound funny when you are 15, but what about as an adult looking for a job or trying to communicate with potential clients for  your business? I also speak to the adults who utilize this form of communication on a regular basis, it is time to go back to basics, we know better!!! I fear for this generation and the older adults who use this as their primary means of communication; they are going to be left behind if they do not take the time to expand their vocabulary and exercise it. Put  down the androids, IPODs IPADS, IPHONES, and  other electronic devices and talk to each other!!! Sometimes the things we have to say will be uncomfortable (like a break up or a job termination), but we owe it to ourselves and those we interact with. Give to others and demand of others the benefit of a full  rich conversation abbreviation free.

Stay connected to your humanity and the humanity of others, tell the whole story, speak in complete sentences, USE YOUR WORDS!